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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. We don't spend much time thinking about truckers, which is strange considering that everything we eat, wear, and plug into our walls was at one point entrusted to their care.

Well, Cracked tracked down Donec Quis and Mallory Trucker signals for sex, sexy latinas blowjobs of these noble "freeway cowboys," to ask them what it's like to be the platelets that carry nutrients down the arteries of America. After they corrected us apparently plasma cells carry nutrients, and "freeway cowboys" is the dumbest thing they've ever heardwe discovered that Our nation's highways are so full of people fillin' 'er up that it's a wonder our species hasn't died in a massive orgiastic pile of twisted metal and trucker signals for sex flesh.

For the briefest of moments our eyes met, and he smiled as if to say, 'Yup, she's blowin' me. truckre

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My all-time favorite, though, belongs trucker signals for sex the greatest old man. When I say old, I don't mean he's a little past his prime. This dude was easily on the losing side of 60, and he passed me beating his dick like it just spray painted graffiti in Singapore.

Howard Cosell was a baseball commentator. Baseball was something like Quidditch, but much more homoerotic and played while secretly on drugs. Black lesbian chicago trucker signals for sex ever been driving along some twisting back road only to get nearly run off a corner by some foot mega-beast that surely has no business being on that road? Well, it probably didn't have any business on that road, and that trucker wasn't an asshole, he was a spider: He was more scared than you.

It's hard to imagine anyone getting thoroughly lost dignals the days of smartphones and GPS, but that's not always the best option for a trucker:. Trucks aren't supposed to go into residential areas, but at the same time, they often have to make deliveries to residential areas. Spline ended up in a worse situation. Near where she trucker signals for sex in Oregon, there's a road called thewhich on paper is the shortest route between Sisters and Eugene -- but in reality, it's not a route you can take with a truck.

But your GPS sigals know that, and if you don't do your own research, you'll be slaloming a metal whale ffor a winding highway that even sport bikes have trucker signals for sex taking at speed. If you've ever been to a truck stop, you've probably interacted trucker signals for sex a prostitute trcuker not known signasl. Or absolutely, unquestionably known all about it.

It really depends on the subtlety of the prostitute. Spline told us this story:. Turned out to be a prostitute who wanted to know if we wanted extra tducker.

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That's how bold the lot lizards are: They see you right in the middle of boning, and they still trucker signals for sex to sell you some boning. The dealers use the CB radio waves -- that's the thing you use to holler ", good buddy" and sing "Convoy" and broadstairs shop work party for women say "I'm sorry, I'll stop now and never use it again" -- to advertise "white truckdr meth.

When the cops show up, truckers repay the favor signas telling the lot lizards where they aresometimes letting them trucker signals for sex out in their truck until the heat dies.

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Which makes sense, because the cops are way more interested in nailing the women than the johns. That's something they've trucker signals for sex in common with the johns, actually. They make it so easy to get your trucker's license that pretty much anyone could find themselves behind the steering wheel of what Quis signalw "a ton highway missile.

Including all the procrastinating and panicked deadline sobbing, of course. His first problem was a total inability to drive and read signs at the same time. I finally decided I had enough and forced him to navigate from Memphis, Tennessee, to Dallas, Texas, ssignals by himself, and went to bed, free horny woman phone to wake up in freaking Mississippi!

That trucker signals for sex when I decided I'd had enough: I told him to call his dispatcher, then sigbals his number. Digital Vision.

It seems like putting drivers like that on the road would be more trouble than it's worth, but that's not how the higher-ups see it. The solution is to make the CDL super easy to attain so that "there's never a shortage of new, naive drivers willing to work for practically nothing, keeping wages for experienced drivers deflated. Inthe large carriers showed a 97 percent turnover rate -- and that was after the numbers dropped.

That means that, statistically speaking, every driver you see is both new to the job and fir to quit. They're more preoccupied with thinking about their next career move than with whether you're trucker signals for sex inside their wheel.

Trucking differs from most other types of careers because it's trucker signals for sex impossible to get a sense of how much money you're going to make.

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You're paid by how far you go, not how much time you spend driving -- so if a shipment is late, or traffic is bad, you basically miss out on a big chunk of your paycheck. Trucker signals for sex, there's a logbook to keep, and regulations that demand that truckers don't drive for longer than 11 hours a day and spend at least 10 hours sleeping.

So another big part of trucking is, of course, siggnals about all that shit. trucker signals for sex

Anyone who follows those rules isn't going to make enough money to keep themselves rolling in microwave burritos and truck stop whores.

Most truckers ditch the sleep and choose the work.

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Coffee, Red Bull, and signale K-pop just isn't enough. Not all truckers indulge: Quis, for example, is always sober behind the wheel. But he's the exception, not the rule.

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Sexy black man for white female the price you pay for a nice crisp tomato or an signasl head of lettuce: That salad better be amazing.

Maybe put some signls on that shit, in honor of those who got it to you. Donec Quis and Mallory Spline are truckers. Related Reading: For more insight into careers that we know little about, then check out life as a drug dealer or a ghost hunter. Or see why being a dude in porn isn't all it cracked up to be.

Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us. Drugged-up, sleep-deprived, penis-euphemism-thinking-up truckers make our way of life possible. Show some solidarity by clicking the button below and trucker signals for sex this story on Facebook.

How Bad Behavior Built Civilizationa celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers trucker signals for sex built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time. Don't make me do this. Don't have an account? Continue as Guest.

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Photoplasty Photoplasty. Pictofact Pictofacts. Add to Favorites. Continue Reading Below. Spline told us this story: Recommended For Your Pleasure. To turn on reply notifications, click .